With the changing of seasons comes these messy things called emotions, they really are the most useful thing 'we' may possess.  Feeling alone is something that I thought I understood, I had been alone I thought, I had felt like I didn't have anyone to hangout with or talk to, but this has been a new level of loneliness.  Its funny really because I am never alone, I am always with my son Franz from morning 'til night the only catch being he doesn't speak english... yet.  But i've missed all the commitments and free wheeling times I used to feel burdened by when fully surrounded by all my Lethbridge friends and family.  Its true and I'm glad that the opportunity for me to experience these longings has been granted to me, as I think it is something one must get familiar with, the older they grow. The saying goes "you're born alone and you'll die alone" seems rather straight forward almost relieving in a strange way, like thank fuck! I won't have to worry about some other traveler passing into the afterlife under my watch.  But what this saying doesn't really prepare us for is all these days and nights in between the two aforementioned events, the ones we remember? or vividly experience? I'm not sure how I am describing reality these days.  Anyways point being, reflection and isolation aren't easy emotions or states to enter but once inside they are extremely rewarding and telling.  I am grateful to be so engulfed in my little nuclear family experience, it is truly a gift from the cosmos and I promise to you cosmo that your gift will not be wasted.